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I have been friends for over two decades, who has overcome numerous challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's constantly taken by surprise by others. Her husband walked away, and it was a massive blow. Several of her friends disappeared during that time, as they were only interested in the spouse. This surprised her. She put in greater energy in our friendship, and must have understood better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was highly competent, her exit happened without knowing the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we've both stepped back from work leading to more each other more, however, I feel my role between us is to listen. I open subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she has unyielding views. My effort is to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She has been arranging a vacation to a nation I have traveled to many times and resided in previously. I attempted to offer personal experiences, yet it was not welcomed. She purely solely sought my agreement with her plans. I've just ended four weeks there and she wants to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend that walks away without a word, but I don't think she will ever understand the effect of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

One option is to cut and run, but it is rarely a smooth outcome that we desire. However, addressing it aiming for resolution takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. It should be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second is to tell the way it leaves you feeling. This allows for no dispute on this point. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to ask how you are both going to change the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind that she also has a point of view, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably successful in fostering understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person may dismiss all you say, since certain individuals have a deep-seated story: they rely on a story about themselves they're unable to let go of as it feels essential is tied to it and it represents familiar to them. It's tough because there's no clear path here, mere obstacles. However, she might initially present this way and then think on your words. And even if you never reach a resolution, it will give you closure knowing you were honest with her.